9 myths about life in your 30s.....
Some days I have it together... other days, I don't!
It's really funny because I used to think that by 26 I would have it ALL. FIGURED. OUT! Silly me, right?! Little did I know the time and energy it would take to really flourish as an adult. I've only been thirty for a little over a few months, and I still don't have it all "figured out"!
And, trust me, I'm quite okay with it!
It's important, at any age, to celebrate the major and minor victories. I like to think I've handled turning 30 with a cool, calm and patient attitude. Patience was a virtue that I certainly did not possess in my 20s. With that being said, a great friend of mine once told me that your 30s are about coming into your own, continued building, and rediscovery. By contrast, your 20s are about planting the seeds of adulthood, that can be sown later on in life.
With all the fear and apprehension that surfaced before I turned 30, I decided to burst the top myths ... that are total B.S.... about what life is like in your 30s.
1/ Not married? There's totally something wrong with you.
NO THERE ISN'T... THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!! There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being married by the time you're 30. If my 20s taught me anything, it is that relationships are complicated and you cannot put a timeline on something as important as marriage. You're worth the wait for the perfect mate (so be patient!)
2/ Change Clothes, and go fit in!
There's this myth that you have to dress a certain way to be accepted or viewed as more mature. For my brand and business, this notion cannot be farther from the truth. As a self-professed "legal fashionista", who is heavily influenced by high fashion and hip-hop, I like to subvert traditional notions of what it means to dress like a lawyer. Fitting into boxy, conservative stereotypes does not suit me, so my advice to you is... wear whatever you want. Your clothing is a direct reflection of your spirit, so why would you want to stifle your own creativity and self- expression.
3/ What everyone else thinks of you should matter.
HA! Nope! I tend to have a polarizing personality and that's okay. While your reputation is very important, it's also important to remember that sometimes, no matter what you do, not everyone is going to like you. I think this is true at any age in life. As long as you're respectful and cordial, continue to be yourself in every way possible. The people who value your company will always stick around.
4/ You'll have a definitive answer about when you're having kids
No you won't and refer to myth 1 for my reason why! Nothing happens before its divine time. So do not let anyone, I mean anyone, even if you have a close friendship with your bank teller, question you about your choice to not have kids yet. (And yes, my bank teller has told me it was time for me to have kids!) Take your time.
5/ You'll lose the close relationship you have with your BFFs
I can attest to the fact that this myth is entirely false. I found that in the latter half of my 20s I started to build stronger connections with my friends. Of course, there will be people who you simply grow apart from... that's all apart of life. But, I've found that no matter what position my friends are in life, we've all done a good job at maintaining those really close connections. In fact, I've even become BFF's with some ex-Bfs!
6/ You'll lose your spirit for adventure
By the time we reach the age of 30, we're more or less aware of who we are. It wasn't until I turned 24 years old that I really appreciated discovering new places through travel and pushing past my comfort levels. I don't think you lose that once you turn 30. In fact, you're more fearless and willing to continue to grow as a person. Adventure simply keeps you excited about life.
7/ Your past hurt and anger will magically subside
Being 30 carries with it a level of understanding about life and your past experiences; however, nothing ever really goes away until you DEAL WITH IT! The amazing thing about turning 30 and growing up is you become more self-aware. It may be the case that you won't repeat the same mistakes, but until you've dealt with your hurt, it won't really go away! Take it from me, deal with it and move on... life's too short! Hell, see a therapist if you need to!
8/ You'll have the dream home, life, car that'll make everyone envy you
Real life is not Instagram. No one is perfect either. And, I'm not being cynical, I'm simply being real. While you may have some of those things, your 30s are still a time for you to continue to build and acquire life's desires at your own pace. There's no rush. I was 29 when I purchased my first car, and it was a used car. I'm still renting, but my decor is amazing. I spent most of my 20s in school, working or traveling abroad, so I didn't leave much time to devote to these other aspects. So while I may not have everything I desire just yet, doesn't mean that it won't happen when the time is right. Keep working hard, keep building, and stop comparing yourself to what you see on Instagram. You will check everything off of your list soon!
9/ 30 is the new 20.
Jay-Z put that on a track and y'all ran with it. Hate to break it to you, no it's NOT! And why, for the love of God, would you want to be 20 again?! I remember being 19 turning 20 when Jay-Z's "Black Album" dropped and I just think back to the hot mess I used to be. In my 20s, I was driven and had dreams to end up where I am today, but in terms of developing real life skills, I wasn't nearly as together in my 20s as I am today. So, while your 20s were great, it's a time for building, framing, making mistakes and learning valuable life lessons. As you transition into your 30s, you have a different understanding of life and a different level of maturity that you never had before... embrace it!
All together my 30th chapter has been amazing so far! I'm excited and hopeful for continued growth and success. I cannot wait to see where my life take me next!
Drop me a line and tell me some of your fears or myths about turning 30 years old!